Crash Course in Adoption...if you're interested

Okay, so since our last blog posting, a lot of people have inquired about what the actual process of adoption is. Let me just start by saying it's lengthy. I will attempt to give a quick summary/timeline so it can be better understood, but when we actually complete the different steps, I will go over them in more detail.

I will return to more regular blogging soon. Because the adoption process does not consume our whole lives, neither should it consume our whole blog.

Adoption Process 101:

*Decide to adopt (check)

*Meet with and interview multiple (in our case, four) agencies to find the one that is a right fit. During these meetings you cover things like cost, timelines, support for and interactions with birth parents, number of "failed" adoptions per year, number of successful adoptions per year, etc. We almost didn't go to the fourth meeting, but it turns out that was the agency that was the best fit for us!!! (check)

*Fill out initial application. This application just covers the basics like education (D.B. has just enough education -- phew), members in the family, employment, etc. Basically, they are making sure we are legit, and we in fact are too legit to quit. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself...check)

*Self evaluation, part one. This was a sixty question form that each of us had to fill out answering questions about our relationships with each other, members of our families, our childhood, how we will discipline our children, and about 50 more similar questions. I think this is the first thing we will probably cover in our initial home study meeting. (check)

*Home Study. This is a series of four meetings, and despite the title, only one of these occurs in our home. I'm not exactly sure what all we will talk about during these meetings, but I think they are designed to make sure we are fit to be good adoptive parents. Our first meeting is March 18th, so I'll let you know after that.

*In addition to the home study we are both responsible for doing 20 hours of pre-adoption education. This is a Wisconsin State requirement. Some of the hours are completed through classes, other are through books, on-line courses, and so on. There are specific topics that need to be covered and I'm thinking we will get that list at H.S. meeting #1.

*Developing a profile is the next step. This is basically where we will put together a short book of mostly pictures that best shows our life. Pictures and stories will include our families, hobbies, interests, jobs, and Molly, of course. We will be working with our social worker to develop our profile so it best shows who we really are.

The homestudy, education and profile can be done in about a month and a half

*Next, our profile becomes available to be shown to potential birth mothers.

*Usually a birth mother only chooses to meet with one or two couples in person. The birth mother (and father if available) then chooses an adoptive family. With our agency, the average wait time for adoptive families is 12-15 months, although there is a wide, wide range.

*After the baby is born, the adoptive parents usually bring him/her home from the hospital. Occasionally the baby will go to a interim home until the termination of parental rights.

*Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) hearing occurs in front of a judge and is usually around 60 days after the birth.

*There are somewhere between 2-4 in-home, post-placement meetings with our social worker.

*Six months after the TPR, an adoption is finalized by a judge!

There are slight variations in the process with different agencies, and the process is slightly modified if a birth mother is found independently/private adoption.

Well, there you have it in a nutshell. Hope this answers some questions and feel free to ask any other questions that you may have!