D.B. and I have been married 3 years as of next month. We have been trying to conceive for the past 2.5 years. After multiple doctors, lots of not-so-fun tests, different diagnoses (some true and some false), multiple failed treatments, one miscarriage within the first couple of weeks of pregnancy, and a lot of praying, we are throwing in the towel, waving the white flag, saying "uncle".
Don't get me wrong -- we haven't lost hope; in fact that is what we are filled with. At our last, and final, appointment with an infertility doctor we were told that we have a two percent chance at getting pregnant each month. I was amazed at how discouraged I wasn't. In fact, I left the office feeling more at peace than I have been since the entire process started. We both came to the same conclusion: it wasn't being pregnant that we've wanted all along -- it's children. And with that conclusion we started our journey toward adoption!!!!
Where are we in the process?
We have decided that we want to adopt a domestic newborn. We have been to multiple informational meetings/seminars and have had our preliminary application accepted (i.e., we're not felons). We are now waiting to start the home study and education portion of this journey. This is a long process that will most likely be filled with ups and downs, some frustration and tears, but we will come out of it better people, and we know that in the end we will be parents. That is more of a guarantee than the fertility treatments could offer, and for this we are both grateful and excited.
Why are we interrupting this dog- and Anthropologie-heavy blog to tell you this?
Most importantly, we're asking for you to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. If you are not the praying type, just keep us in your thoughts and stick behind us in the decision we have made. We are excited, and we want you all to be too! Also, the majority of domestic adoptions each year are independent. What that means is that the birth mother and adopting family find each other without the help of an agency. They find each other through word of mouth, through friends telling friends, doctors, pastors, etc. We are not asking you to go advertise for us, and there are no finder's fees -- just keep us in mind. Thanks.
Occasionally, we'll update the blog with some new information -- and we'd be happy to give a shout-out to anyone who helps us find a baby :). In the meantime, back to our regularly scheduled blog... isn't our niece, Simone, cute?!
I'm so glad you posted this. I think you will find lots of encouragement and support from everyone, including friends and family, and other bloggers going through adoption!
ReplyDeleteI am always thinking of you and DVD, and praying that you will be parents in God's time.
P.S. My uterus is still open if you ever want a surrogate:) This only goes for you though, nobody else!
Hope for the best for you! I have natural children and an adopted child and there is no difference in the way I feel about them! In fact, when Emily was at a Dr's with migraines, he asked if there was a family hx., I said "Yes, my Mom has had them". Emily turned and rolled her eyes and said "What does that have to do with it, Mom?" Then, on the other side, just last week she said "Mom, why didn't I inherit your long legs?"
ReplyDeleteThoughts and prayers are with y'all.
Kathleen
Sniff sniff... awesome post! Can't wait to suffocate you with baby gifts!
ReplyDeleteAny pregnant teen comes my way and I will accost her and tell her daddy could be a doctor!
I love how you wrote that, so much heart in those words. I am pulling for you and might be going down that road by myself pretty soon and would love to have someone to talk to about it. you and DB are in my thoughts. a better couple there is not...
ReplyDeleteOh Hillary I had no idea you were going through all of this. How painful this must have been. I'm so glad you have made peace with it and have made a decision to move forward. My thoughts are with the two of you.
ReplyDeleteDB and Hillary...You will make wonderful parents!!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers through this journey of yours.
ReplyDeleteHope to see you both soon.
Meghan
Such a beautiful post! We've been praying for you guys, and will continue to do so. Some friends of ours locally are bringing home a newly adopted baby tomorrow that they only learned about two weeks ago and was born one week ago! Miracles happen every day in the world of adoption and it's wonderful to know there's one more such wonderful couple looking to love a baby who needs them. Thanks for keeping us up to date! Praying hard.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted this! I saw a comment on your blog some time ago about adoption -- so I read every blog post to see if you had mentioned it.
ReplyDeleteI'll have you, D.B., and Molly in my prayers every day.
So happy to see you have a great attitude and hope. They say that when you stop stressing over that stuff, it seems to work out. (Ever watch the Sex and the City move?)I know that soon you will have a beautiful Sanders baby to care for!
Good luck and can't wait to see more posts!!!
Hillary, my thoughts and prayers will be with you and DB through this journey. I know it will all be worth it in the end for you when you bring home your child because God knows you will both be wonderful parents. Best wishes with everything!
ReplyDeletebig hugs to you my friend. the road may not be easy, but it will be worth every yucky part to hold that baby in your arms. i had friends who did domestic adoption, and yes, there was heartache and annoyances, but their little girl turns 1 year next month and has brought more joy to their life than they could have ever imagined. it will all be worth it. much love to you and db!
ReplyDeleteGiving a child who needs a home a loving one is the greatest gift you can give. My prayers will be with you as you embark on this amazing adventure!
ReplyDeleteYou are ALWAYS in my thoughts and prayers!!! I am SUPER excited for you and D.B. as you begin on this new journey in your life that I am sure will work out in God's exact timing. Whoever the little angel is that is blessed enough to be yours will surely live a loved and treasured life! You never know what the Lord has in store for you either, 2% isn't nothing:) I'll be praying even harder now that I know what to pray!
ReplyDeleteYay for the adoption announcement! So excited that you "went public"!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad we are here to support each other on this crazy journey!!! It will all be worth it in the end! :)
Well don't loose hope. A friend of mine went through the same process, although she was a bit more discouraged. However, in the middle of the night they got a call. With in six hours they had adopted a newborn from Ohio.
ReplyDeleteShe cracked me up. She said "we were racing all over town in and out of Wal-mart, target you name it trying to buy supplies" Overnight they became parents and she has never been happier
I am so excited for you and DB - you will be the most wonderful parents. Best wishes as you embark on your journey toward parenthood! One of my former co-workers had 2 successful placements through an agency in Chicago - I can put you in touch with her if you want. You will be in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteHi Hillary and DB!
ReplyDeleteWe couldn't be happier for you and thank you for sharing your story. You will make wonderful parents! Good luck and you will be in our prayers! Kim and Pat
Hi Hillary and DB!
ReplyDeleteWe couldn't be happier for you and thank you for sharing your story. You will make wonderful parents! Good luck and you will be in our prayers! Kim and Pat
Good job being the only one in our family without a criminal record. I knew that would pay off for you someday. Amity and I will keep our ears to the ground for you. We are both part of large communities of ultra-talented, super-smart young people living fast without any money. Its a group that I feel has a lot of potential. You and DB will make fantastic parents. I suggest a XX model baby, we've had good luck with ours and we can probably dress yours for the entirety of her life with hand-me-downs.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how amazing you are. This post was so beautifully written and I truly thank you for writing about this. This is exactly why I love meeting so many wonderful people just like you on blogger. I have read inspiring stories, like yours, and I really thank you for showing others that there is hope out there. I never realized how difficult getting pregnant could be, how easy a miscarriages could happen or how wonderful and rewarding adoption could be until I read others stories. I am so so sorry for your difficulty getting pregnant. I do hope though that youll never give up. I think the idea of adoption is so wonderful. I have not gone through the pregnancy journey myself yet, but I know when it is my time, I will be prepared for everything, because I know from stories like yours that everyone is different, every family is different, and no matter what the strong, the amazing, get through it and create their own very special lives. I am wishing, hoping, praying for the very best for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrific post, Hillary! I've been praying for you and DB ever since you shared your desire to have a baby. Isn't it amazing how God can change your heart?! It isn't pregnancy that you desire...it's a baby! Because of your struggles, you will have hearts overflowing with love, and your baby will be blessed for a lifetime.
ReplyDeletePlease share your updates throughout the process. Just because your belly doesn't grow, it doesn't mean that we don't want to hear all of the details of your journey!
Thinking of you! :)