I think most moms think of Mother's Day as a day to be celebrated, pampered, and adored. I can't say I disagree, I love all of those things about the day. Really though, when I think of Mother's Day I think of it as a day to be thankful because if it weren't for one very brave, unselfish young woman, my life would be so very different.
A good majority of my weekend I spent thinking about C's birthmom and hoping she was okay. Wishing I could hug her, thank her, and show her the beautiful little girl that brightens every single one of my days. We were in Milwaukee yesterday and while the hubs drove I just stared out the window examining every single young woman we drove past, wishing I would recognize one of them as the woman from the picture that we have framed in Colbie's nursery. Then I wondered what I would do if we actually drove past her. I still don't know.
Adoption is such a strange thing. It is beautiful and wonderful and I truly love it, but there is also so much sorrow. Part of me thought the sorrow would end when I had a baby to call my own, and it did, but then a totally new sorrow began. Every single holiday, birthday, or milestone that goes by my heart aches for C's birthmom and her loss because I know that not a day goes by where she doesn't wonder. I just hope that she knows how loved her little girl is, and how loved she is.
Happy Mother's Day M.
So truly beautiful Hillary. Some day when she meets Colbie again, she will know. She will be so proud, so grateful.
ReplyDeleteI hope she knows it in her heart. I don't know if you got to meet her at all, but I know that if she did, she will always remember the love she felt around you when she thinks of Colbie.
ReplyDeleteI know I've told you before, but when we finally met my "new" brother, Mike, the most emotional part was hearing that he and his mom would pray for my mom, the tummy mommy, every Mother's Day and his birthday.
What a brave hero she is, and if you ever see her again, you give her a hug from ALL of us and tell her we love her :)
Wow, Hillary...what a powerful post. I read it through tears, and it gave me a fresh perspective. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything the other ladies said! It truly was a BEAUTIFUL post and brought tears to my eyes as well! I praise the Lord for the miracle he brought into your lives and thank you for putting a little perspective into my Mommy-hood also;) Love ya!
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